Roselyn Romero

I worked all throughout college. Whether I was interning for The Associated Press or producing at my local news station, I worked diligently to ensure my job hunt after graduating college would go as smoothly as possible.

After a brief stint as an intern for another local news station after graduation, I found myself directionless. I didn’t have a full-time job lined up after the internship, and some circumstances during that internship led me to realize that I no longer wanted to pursue broadcast news. For about nine months, I applied for jobs, landed interviews, and got rejected more times than I could count. It wasn’t until this summer that I finally had a few job offers to consider.

But throughout my post-grad job search, I felt like a complete failure. I questioned my competence almost constantly. Why was it that some of my peers from college were finding employment immediately after graduating while I was struggling? What was wrong with my resume, cover letter, or interview that made employers turn down my application? Why was nobody else talking openly about how difficult it is to land a job after four years of arduous studying and preparation for “the real world”? Was going to college even worth it?

Along the way, though, I’ve learned so much about my identity, passions, and priorities — lessons that I don’t think I would’ve learned if I wasn’t unemployed for so long. I share these insights with you here in hopes that, if you are going through the same or a similar experience as me, you’ll feel less alone.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I know it’s cliché, but it’s the truth. When you compare your life to others, you fail to be present in the moment and to appreciate the stage in life you’re currently in. This is especially relevant for those searching for a job. Just one scroll through LinkedIn, Twitter (or… X?), Instagram, or Facebook will make you feel like you’re progressing through life much slower than your friends, family, and other people. It got so bad for my mental health at one point that I had to delete Twitter and LinkedIn from my phone because I kept on comparing myself to my classmates and other recent college grads.

If I could go back, I would tell myself to stop scrolling, breathe, and accept my situation. Of course it sucked that I didn’t have a full-time job yet. But instead of running away from those emotions and seeing unemployment as a catastrophe that required urgent fixing, I learned to sit down with those feelings and interrogate whether they had any truth to them. My therapist once told me, “Feelings aren’t facts.” So any time I felt like a failure because I was unemployed, I took a few moments to breathe in, breathe out, and acknowledge my internal dialogue. Sometimes repeating a mantra out loud like, “I am enough,” helped transport me out of my gloom and into a more peaceful mindset.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

– Winston Churchill

Don’t be afraid to use your network.

Keeping in touch with my connections — whether they be academic, professional, or simply friends — was vital to my job search, as well as my mental health. After several months of receiving back-to-back rejections, I reached out to my former professors, colleagues, classmates, and friends to ask for career advice, feedback on my resume and cover letter, and tips on staying sane throughout the job-hunting process. Initially I was afraid of coming across as a burden, but to my surprise, everyone I spoke with was happy to help me.

I once read in a New York Times article that we often assume that people like us a lot less than we think, but studies have shown that that’s simply not the case. So, instead of hesitating to reach out to someone because you assume they’ll see you as a burden, take the plunge and shoot them an email, text, or call. You may be surprised at how willing they are to help you find a job, connect you to someone they know, or look at your resume.

Set boundaries on your job search.

When I started looking for a full-time job, I would browse journalism job listings from the moment I woke up to the second I fell asleep. I was glued to my phone, checking and refreshing my email inbox almost every minute in case I missed an important message from a recruiter or an interview request. I would peruse job boards while working out, shopping for groceries, eating, spending time with my loved ones, and even applying makeup.

Obviously, this wasn’t great for my mental health. I told myself that I needed to find a job ASAP, and if that meant applying for jobs rather than taking care of my health and wellbeing, then so be it. It wasn’t until I was speaking to my therapist that I realized, “Oh, it seems like all I think about and all I talk about is… looking for a job.” It was getting in the way of things that would have been more productive (more on that in the next point) or simply things that gave me joy. I had to start creating boundaries.

I gave myself strict times for when I would browse job boards and apply for jobs. For example, I would do my job search between noon and 4 p.m. every weekday and avoid looking at job boards altogether on the weekends. This created a more balanced schedule and helped me feel more in control of my job hunt.

Find things to do outside of your job search.

Being unemployed means having a lot of free time. A lot. And for a while, I was stoked to have a mostly blank calendar. After all, going from studying and working to having zero obligations so suddenly felt like a warm shower after a long day. But alas, all good things must come to an end. With so much time on my hands, I felt like I was going insane. All my close friends were either still in college or living far away, so I stayed home all day. I lost track of the days and felt unmotivated to do anything.

To address this, I got up one morning, grabbed a latte at a café, and walked around the area for just 20 minutes. Afterwards, I felt like a million bucks. It was such a small thing, but it improved my mood tenfold. I soon started filling my non-job hunting time with activities I love. I took dance and fitness classes, learned new recipes, explored different neighborhoods, hiked nearby trails, went on runs along the Alameda shoreline, tried lattes from various coffee shops throughout the Bay Area to see which ones were my favorite, and tried new restaurants. While these activities may not be productive in a professional sense, they were productive in that they allowed me to tend to my mental health, reconnect with things I hadn’t done since I was in college, and forge new experiences.

Don’t give up.

This was probably the hardest one for me. My heart sank every time I received a rejection email. There were myriads of times when I wanted to quit journalism altogether. I considered pivoting industries and pursuing a career in communications, marketing, or a similar discipline. As the months went on, my hopes in securing my dream job dwindled.

What kept my head up during this time was reminding myself that I have all the time in the world, and that everyone’s career path or life journey is going to look vastly different from mine.

Samuel L. Jackson’s acting career took off when he was in his 40s. Leslie Jones landed “SNL” at age 47. Bob Ross was 41 when “The Joy of Painting” aired for the first time.

Throughout my childhood, I felt this crushing pressure to be perfect — to have straight As, to be skinny, to excel in all subjects (including P.E.), to go to an Ivy League (which, obviously, did not happen), to get a high-paying job, to get married by 30, to have children by 35. But life seldom goes the way we envision it.

Just because one of my friends or peers landed a gig straight after college and I didn’t, does not mean that I am “less” than them, nor that I am a “failure.” These are fears, feelings — not facts. I am not defined by the timeline of my life. Not everyone has to have their whole life figured out at the mere age of 23. Hell, I’d be willing to bet that no one, regardless of their age, has it all figured out. If you feel way behind the curve, remember that every other person your age feels the exact same. And don’t you dare give up.